


Waiting For The Love Of A Travelin' Soldier

by noklouis (regansmith)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Army, Army, Family Drama, Harry Styles/Zayn Malik friendship, Harry is in the army, I suck at tagging, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Military AU, Niall Horan/Louis Tomlinson friendship - Freeform, Veitnam, a bit of homophobia and islamicphobia if you squint, based off the song Travelin Solider by the Dixie Chicks, football is soccer not american football, him and louis fall in love and write letters to each other, larry stylinson - Freeform, liam is in the army with harry, mainly louis pov, semi happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 21:41:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8550112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regansmith/pseuds/noklouis
Summary: Harry had been feeling lost, he wanted to do something where he could find himself and help others. So, he joins the army. He also happens to meet Louis a few weeks before he has to leave for Vietnam, and falling in love wasn't part of Harry's plan. But plan's can change. (based of the beautiful song Travelin' Soldier by The Dixie Chicks. I highly suggest listening to the song before or during reading this for extra effect)





	

**Author's Note:**

> AU based on the song ‘Travelin Soldier’ by The Dixie Chicks. It’s Remembrance Day right now and a few kids from my school sang this song at an assembly and I just fell in love with the song. It’s so sad and heartbreaking yet heartwarming at the same time and I just love everything about it. 
> 
> Now, I want to make this very clear. By writing this, I am not trying to seem disrespectful at all. The last thing I want to do is upset or offend everyone. Like a lot of people, I’ve had family serve in the military, and I know how upsetting it can be for some people. So if you think reading this might upset you, I suggest you don’t, because I don’t want to upset anyone. With that being said, I’m going to try my best to make this as accurate and truthfully as it can possibly be. But I’m not an expert, so if some things aren’t the exact way it normally works, please don’t be rude about it. I really did try my best. 
> 
> I would like to dedicate this story to all the soldiers who have fought so bravely and fearlessly so I can live in a beautiful country in peace. I’m so thankful for the sacrifices The Canadian Military has made so my loved ones and I can live in such a beautiful and free country. If you decide to read this, please take a minuet and think about what these people have given up, so we can be free.
> 
> This isn't my best work, but I really just wamted to get it up, so I hope you enjoy !! Comments and udos are always welcomed !! ALSO I CHECKED BUT IF THERE ARE SPELLING OR GRAMMER MISTAKES I'M SORRY I STRUGGLE WITH THAT BUT I HOPEFULLY GOT RID OF MOST OF THEM

_“Two days past eighteen_

_He was waiting for the bus in his army green_

_Sat down in a booth in a cafe there_

_Gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair_

_He's a little shy so she gives him a smile_

_And he said, "Would you mind sittin' down for a while_

_And talking to me?_

_I'm feeling a little low."_

_She said, "I'm off in an hour and I know where we can go."_

 

He was really doing this. He was really going to serve for the military. The idea came into Harry’s head when his mate Zayn said something about a boy from his classes joining. He didn’t think much of it then, but after spending months trying to figure out where you belong, he made the decision. He was going to fight and serve for his country.

When he told Zayn that he was going to join, it wasn’t exactly the welcomed response he was expecting.

“Are you fucking insane, mate?” Zayn yelled, jumping up from where he was sitting on the couch. “You must be joking”

“I’m not. I’ve felt lost for the better half of the year, Zayn! I want to do something where I know I’m helping other people!” Harry insisted, standing up as well to face Zayn.

“Then volunteer at a fucking homeless shelter or something, I don’t know! But you can’t join the army!” He shouted, starring at Harry as if he was crazy. And maybe he was. Because as Zayn starred at Harry, the boy he’s known for his entire life, for the first time, he can’t recognize him.

“Well, I already have. I enrolled this morning.” Harry said slowly.

“How could you do this? What about your mum? Or Gemma? What are you going to tell them?” Zayn asked him. He felt like he was running out of breath. He was extremely mad at Harry for doing this, but he was equally terrified. He was terrified that his best mate was going to go and get himself killed and he’ll never get to see him again.

“You know my mum doesn’t care, Z. She hasn’t cared since I told her that I like boys. And I can’t even remember the last time I talked to Gemma.”

“Their you’re family, H! You have to tell them! What if something happens to you, or you get hurt?” Zayn shouted louder, starting to feel more panicked.

“You’re my family, Z. You have been since 3rd grade”

“This is crazy. You’ve lost your damn mind” Zayn laughed dryly, running his fingers through his hair. He felt like his heart was about to combust and his head was moving with so many different thoughts it made him sick.

“Well, I’m gonna be getting sent to Vietnam soon. I just wanted you to know.”

“You’re getting shipped off already?” Zayn gasped. His heart was definitely going to explode. This is too much for him to handle in one day, he felt like his anxiety might just kill him right now.

“It’s not that bad! I can send you letters and updates!” Harry tried to tell him, but he knows Zayn. He knows when he’s getting to the place where he just shuts everyone and everything out because he gets too scared.

“I need you to go, Harry” Zayn said quickly, rubbing his hands over his eyes.

“Come on Zayn, I just wanted to say a proper goodbye to you!”

And that’s how it went. After that, Zayn retreated to his room, and Harry knows better then to chase after him when he’s in such an anxious state.

Zayn was the one person he had. His mum doesn’t speak to him, and his sister isn’t exactly trying to contact him ether. So Zayn was it. And he probably just lost him too.

“Can I get you anything?”

Harry looked up from the spot he was staring at on the table to meet the blue eyes of a short, fluffy haired boy standing in front of him with a small notepad.

Harry couldn’t take his eyes off the boy. His eyes were like a new shade of blue that Harry has never seen before, but it was now hos favorite color. His hair looked so soft and wispy against his forehead. He was fairly short too, at least quite a bit shorter then Harry. And by the way he was holding the notepad, it looked his he had small hands too, which was a contrast to Harry’s giant ones.

“Hello?” The boy asked with a laugh, smiling as Harry blinked out of his stare to draw back to earth.

“I’m so sorry, um, no, I’m just waiting here” Harry stuttered, looking back to the table in embarrassment. He’s not exactly good with the whole flirting thing, not that he was flirting.

“Well, we don’t really allow people to just hang out here” The boy smiled, but making no attempt to make Harry leave.

“Oh, then I’ll just get a coffee, I guess” Harry smiled, making hesitant eye contact.

“Okay, I’ll be right back with that”

He watched the boy walk away and as horrible as it was, he couldn’t help but look down the boy’s body, and he was so thankful he did. It was like he had been sculpted by an artist. The tight jeans and white tee shirt covered up the most part, but he could see the way his jeans clung to his thighs and backside, and Harry never wanted the image to leave his mind.

“Here you are” The boy smiled as he returned, handing the cup filled with steaming coffee to Harry, who just placed it down on the table.

“Do you wanna sit? I could use someone to talk to” Harry called out to ask the boy before he got the chance to walk away. The boy smiled at Harry, his teeth showing and making Harry’s heart flutter.

“I get off in an hour, will you still be here then?”

Harry nodded. He didn’t have a whole lot of plans, so spending his last few days with a pretty boy didn’t sound too bad.

“Great.” And with that, the boy walked back to the order counter, shooting a small smile at Harry every few minutes.

_“So they went down and they sat on the pier_

_He said I bet you got a boyfriend but I don't care_

_I got no one to send a letter to_

_Would you mind if I sent one back here to you”_

“I used to come here a lot” The boy, who Harry now knew was named Louis, told him. After Louis had gotten off from work, he had taken Harry down to a pier, that weirdly enough, Harry never knew existed.

“When I was having a bad day, I’d come here and just see how the water goes farther than I can see, and how their might be someone on the other side, looking out and wondering the same thing I was” Louis said him as he sat down on the dock, inviting Harry to do the same.

“And that helped?” Harry asked, sitting down beside Louis and leaning back on his hands. “Not that, as much. What helped was the fact that it was so big and how far it goes. It made me think about big the world really is, and how many people live here. They are all struggling with something, and it made me feel less alone, I guess. That’s probably silly” Louis laughed nervously, folding his legs so he was sitting cross cross and looking out to the water.

“It’s not silly. It makes a lot of sense, actually. It’s like, if all those people out there can make it through their problems, I can make it through mine”

“Yeah, exactly” Louis smiled. He looked over to Harry and couldn’t help but admire the boy’s strong face. His hair was cut short, so he had a good view of his jawline. He was just beautiful. Louis also noticed how the boy was wearing an army jacket. He didn’t know if it was real or not, but I guess the only way to find out is by asking.

“Are you in the army?” Louis asked hesitantly, trying to tell if he was willing to talk about it by his reaction. He stayed natural though, just responding with, “Yeah. Enrolled this morning”

“Oh” Louis responded. For whatever reason, he felt his heart speed up. Maybe it was because he was suddenly concerned for the beautiful being he just met a few hours ago.

They stayed quite for a while, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, it was peaceful almost. Both of them just looking out to the water.

“You have a boyfriend, don’t you?” Harry asked all of a sudden.

“What?” Louis asked shocked, not expecting that type of question. He didn’t have a boyfriend, but he just met this person.

“You have a boyfriend, right?” Harry asked again. It was impossible that someone as beautiful as Louis couldn’t be in a relationship. But the thing was, Harry didn’t care. If he did have a boyfriend, he was going to show Louis that he was the better man.

He seemed to be mighty protective of the boy he just met. But in Harry’s mind, he didn’t have anyone anymore. Not his mum, his sister, or Zayn. And he wanted to be able to talk to someone while he was serving, he didn’t want to be alone anymore.

“I don’t, actually” Louis responded quietly, making Harry’s heart skip.

“Well, I’m gonna be leaving soon, to fight with the military in Vietnam, and I don’t have anyone to send a letter too, would you mind if I sent one back here, to you?” Harry asked with hopefully eyes.

Louis turned back to look out to the water, letting this settle in his mind. He didn’t know that Harry was leaving so quickly. But he’s never felt like this before. These last few hours have been more exciting than his entire nine month long relationship with his ex.

“Okay, I’d like that”

“I’d like that too” Harry smiled, feeling his heart slowly become more at peace.

****

It’s been three weeks since that day on the pier. Those three weeks were spent with Harry and Louis trying to do everything they possibly can together before Harry had to go fight in Vietnam.

They had movie nights at each other’s house, went on dates, Harry even met Louis’ mum. Some would say they were moving too fast, but they didn’t have any other option. Time wasn’t something they had, and they wanted to spend every minuet they could together. So they did.

But today, was when they ran out of time. They had spent the night together at Harry’s house, and they might have waited until their last night together to finally be together. And Louis might of woken up naked beside the boy he’s gotten to know all too well over the last few weeks, who was also without clothes.

They also might have showered together, and Louis absolutely didn’t cry when he watched Harry put his military uniform on. He didn’t cry. Although he really wanted too.

He also didn’t cry on the cab to the airport. Although he wanted too.

When they got to the airport, Harry used his free hand to grab Louis’, holding it tightly as they walked through the airport. When they were getting closer to the gate, Louis could see other men and women in army uniforms, saying goodbye to someone as well. Louis has to wonder how many times these people have said goodbye to each other.

“You okay, Lou?”

Louis snapped his attention back to Harry, who had stopped walking and was now standing in front of him. Louis didn’t trust his voice to be strong enough, so he just nodded, giving Harry a weak smile.

Harry dropped his bag on the ground beside them and pulled the small boy into his chest. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s chest, not trying to stop his tears now. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet, he wanted more time with Harry.

“Please don’t cry, love. If you cry, I might not be able to do this” Harry whispered, resting his head in Louis’ soft hair. They stayed like they were for a few minutes, just tightly holding each other and Harry whispering into Louis’ hair.

When they finally pulled away, Louis launched himself onto his tip toes and forcefully pressed his lips against Harry’s, almost crying out when he felt Harry’s strong hands grab into his waist, pulling him closer and kissing him back.

Louis flicked his tongue against Harry’s bottom lip, waiting for Harry to open his mouth and let Louis explore his mouth like the first time, although it could be the last.

Louis wanted to remember all of this. He never wanted to forget the way Harry’s hands felt gripping his waist, or how Harry’s lips tasted, or the way it felt to kiss him. He never want’s the memory of this too leave him.

Harry was first to pull back, placing a few smaller kisses to Louis’ lips, before pulling away and just staring. Harry didn’t want to forget this ether.

“Promise you’ll be safe? Like, don’t be an idiot, okay?” Louis asked through his tears, making Harry smile and laugh. “I promise. Besides, I plan on coming back, I got someone here waiting for me” He said softly, whipping Louis’ tears from the boy’s cheeks.

They hugged each other one last time, Louis holding on so tightly that he was hoping that it could somehow stop time. But it didn’t. And Harry was still leaving him.

“I lo-“ Louis started, but Harry was quick to stop him. “Don’t say that, petal, please. If you say that, there’s no way I’ll be able to this” Harry told him, his voice straining.

“Okay, but you know I do, right? Like, I care about you so fucking much”

“I know, I do too.”

And just like that, Harry was gone. Louis was watching the boy walk away until he could no longer see him.

In the movies, this seems so much easier. But it is not easy. This was possible the hardest thing Louis has ever done. He felt like his heart was breaking him, and he felt cold and alone. He hated this feeling, so he shut his eyes and prayed that Harry would come back to him. Whether it was in a few weeks or a few months, he would see Harry again.   

 

_“I cried_

_Never gonna hold the hand of another guy_

_Too young for him they told her_

_Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier_

_Our love will never end_

_Waitin' for the soldier to come back again_

_Never more to be alone when the letter said_

_A soldier's coming home”_

Louis spent the next week trying not to admit defeat to the sadness that was growing inside his chest. He can’t believe how silly he was being over this. He hardly knew Harry for a month, yet he couldn’t help but cry himself to sleep every night and waking up in fear that Harry wasn’t okay. He’s been waiting for a letter to come, but Harry had told him that it might take a while for the first one to arrive, so he shouldn’t worry.

Yet he still does.

In the week that Louis had spent hiding away in his bed, he completely forgotten about the plans he had made with his best mate. So he was awoken by Niall throwing pillows at his head, and that’s how Louis got out of bed.

“So wait, explain to me again”

Louis sighed, opening his fridge and grabbing a two bottles of water. “His name is Harry, and I met him a few weeks ago. The first day we met, he told me he was in the military and asked if he could send me letters. We ended up spending a lot of time together, and now he’s somewhere in Vietnam.”

When he turned around, he saw that Niall was looking at him like he had just told him aliens existed. “What?” Louis asked, handing him one of the bottles of water.

“I’m just trying to process this, mate. It’s like you’re living a bloody movie” Niall laughed dryly, still trying to wrap his mind around this.

“What’s so shocking?” Louis asked as he sat down beside Niall on one of the chairs at the dining table. “He told me he’d send me letters, because he didn’t think he had anyone else to send him too. And turns out, I like him” He shrugged.

“Lou, I’m really happy for you, but do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” Niall asked him, trying to have a serious conversation. Louis wasn’t one for these types of talks. If it was something serious, he will do the best he can to make it into a joke that everyone can laugh about.

“I have been in a relationship before, Niall. Isn’t my first time” Louis laughed awkwardly, trying to move the topic away from him and Harry. He didn’t want to talk about it. It made him sad and miss Harry even more.

“Come on, Lou. Let’s be real for a second. Being in a relationship with someone serving for our country is a really big commitment. I don’t mean it disrespectfully, but are you ready for this?”

Louis looked over to his mate, chewing on his lip. If he was being honest, he had absolutely no idea what he was in for. He didn’t know how to handle this.

“Of course I’m ready for this. Besides, we’re not serious.”

To Louis, they were serious. It was the most intense feeling he’s ever had.

“Then why don’t you trying seeing some other people? We could go to a club or something?” Niall suggested. “I don’t want to see anyone else. As hard as it may seem, I’m happy. Sure, he’s not here, but I like how I felt when we were together. And he’s going to come back.”

“Lou, you’re still young, you could meet so many people, who aren’t flying across the country ever few months.”

“No, Niall. I don’t care. I like him and he likes me, and I’m willing to wait for him to fully be with me. He makes me feel, like I’ve never felt before. It’s something I can’t explain. I don’t want to be with anyone else, I want to be with him. And we will be. He’s going to come back.”

Niall didn’t know how to respond, but he can see it in Louis’ eyes how strongly he feels about this, and he’s not one to talk someone out of happiness.

“Can’t believe you didn’t introduce me to him, how am I supposed to tell if he’s worthy?” Niall asked, making Louis smile. “Sorry, mate. But I have some pictures, you wanna see?”

They spent the afternoon talking about their lives and Harry. It felt nice, because Louis hadn’t smiled since Harry left, and now, thanks to his best mate, he wasn’t worrying for the first time in a week.

When Louis got his first letter, it was a little over two weeks. Louis had been checking the mail every morning when he woke up, and when he saw the letter for the army reserve, he almost cried, but this time, out of happiness. He sprinted back to his flat and opened the letter as soon as he got inside.

_“Dear, Louis_

_I don’t know when this is going to get to you, but I hope it doesn’t take too long. And I hope I don’t sound totally selfish when I say this, but I really want to get something back from you._

_It’s really warm here, but it’s almost a breath of fresh air. I’ve met this lad named Liam who’s also on his first assignment, so we’ve been getting to know each other and he’s a super cool lad. I think you’d like him._

_Walking away from you at the airport almost killed me. I hated seeing you so upset, and I hope you’re not still upset. Does that make me sound like an arse? Hopefully not, but I just don’t like the thought of you being sad over something I’ve caused._

_Everything here is different, I’m still trying to figure everything out, but thankfully everyone’s been really nice and helpful. I’m sorry I couldn’t write much today, but not much has happened recently, and all I really think about is you._

_I hope you’re okay, and that this gets to you. I’m looking forward to hearing from you._

_All the love,_

_Harry xx”_

Louis could practically hear Harry’s voice reading the letter to him. He felt like his heart was getting a hug and it made him feel warm and soft. He brushed the few tears that made their way down his cheeks, and quickly got out his stationary, wanting to respond to Harry and send the letter as quickly as possible.

_“Dear Harry,_

_I wasn’t sure if you would actually write. But I’m really thankful you did. The first week after you left was a little hard, but I’m okay now. Niall came by and helped me clear my mind. I think I’ve told you about him before; he’s the Irish lad who enjoys getting drunk and stumbling his way to my flat at the early hours of the morning._

_I can’t imagine how warm it must be there, but hopefully it’s not too bad. I don’t really know what to say, because I think the last time I wrote a letter was too Santa when I was a boy. And I don’t think I’m exactly supposed to tell you what I want for Christmas._

_Either way, I hope you’re okay. When you return, I’d love to meet Liam. But I mainly just want to see you. I really miss you, and I feel stupid because of it. You ruined me, Harold. But in the best way. And not a sexual way, so don’t even take it there._

_When you get the chance, I hope you get to write back. Because I miss you and I want to make sure you’re not being idiotic and getting yourself into trouble._

_Stay safe, solider._

_Love, Louis xx”_

Louis quickly got dressed and made his way to the post office, copying down the address that Harry had written on the first letter. It made him feel happy in a way, because the next person who would open that letter would be Harry.

 

_“So the letters came from an army camp_

_In California then Vietnam_

_And he told her of his heart_

_It might be love and all of the things he was so scared of_

_He said, "When it's getting kinda rough over here,_

_I think of that day sittin' down at the pier._

_And I close my eyes and see your pretty smile._

_Don't worry but I won't be able to write for awhile."_

Louis and Harry had been sending letters back and forth to each other for a little over a month now. It was always the best part of Louis’ week when he got a letter from Harry. And little did Louis know, it was the same for Harry. He loved when the mail was dropped off, because he knew that he would be hearing from Louis, and the thought of that distracted him from all that was going on.

In one of Harry’s recent letters, he had asked Louis if he could send him some pictures. He was very clear when he said he didn’t mean dirty pictures, which made Louis smile. But he said that some of the families will send pictures of things from home, and he saw how much of an affect it had on some of the people, and he wanted to have a picture of Louis that he could keep with him.

So in Louis’ recent letter, he had sent it off with some pictures. He liked the thought of using a polaroid instead, so he ended up taking a photo of himself, one of the pier that had went to the first day they met, and for the last one, he ended up printing off a picture of himself and Harry that they had taken together. He really hopes it was enough.

When Harry’s next letter came, Louis could tell something was different. When he opened it, there wasn’t a little smiley face, like what Harry had started to do next to Louis’ name. He could tell something was different.

_“Dear, Lou_

_Sorry it’s taken me a bit longer to write. Things have been pretty busy around here. No one ever warned me about how you would feel while you served. I feel proud that I’m helping my country, but I can’t help but think about the people we’re fighting against. They are just like us, fighting for their country. And we are killing them, taking them away from their families. I don’t know. It’s just a weird feeling I guess._

_I really liked the pictures you sent, thank you for them. You look different somehow, but just as beautiful. I can’t wait till we can see each other again. I also loved the one of the pier. I keep it right beside my bunk, so when things get too much, I can look at it. And it’s like I’m looking out past the water, just like how you told me. It’s been really helpful lately._

_I think they may be sending us into a city tomorrow that’s prone for attack. As much as I’m trying not to be, I’m really scared. It’s a lot bigger of a place and way more open than all the places we’ve been before. I’m starting to understand what they said when I was getting in over my head, because maybe I am. I never thought about how this would all affect me mentally. It’s a feeling I can’t describe, but it terrifies me all the same._

_I’ve been thinking about you a lot and what you’re doing and how you are. I really wish I could see you and just hold you. I was scared I would forget things about you, like how your voice sounds or the way your skin feels, I was really scared I’d forget your smile. But I’ve forgotten nothing, Lou. It’s like I can feel you here with me. When we go into battle, you’re the first thing I think of. And when we’re fighting, it almost feels like I have you here with me, keeping me sane and leading me on the right path._

_We have a lot of time to think, while we’re here, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how we left things. And a lot of things are starting to scare me, but what scares me the most is the thought of you never knowing how I feel about you._

_I’ve never felt anything like this, it’s the most hard and intense feeling I’ve ever encountered, and everything about you makes me feel safe. It’s like, if I have you, then I know I’m going to be okay. I know I told you not to say it at the airport, but I’m saying it now. I love you, Louis. I love you so much that I’m scared my heart might just explode. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone in my whole life. I know we haven’t exactly had a normal relationship, we didn’t get to spend months getting to know each other and doing the whole dating thing, but in my opinion, this is even better. Because I’ve fallen for you so hard and so quickly, I don’t think I ever want to get up._

_I promise you, Lou, I’m going to be coming home, and I’m going to hold you so tight that you might just disappear. We’ll be happy, I promise._

_Don’t be worried if I don’t write for a while. Since we are going to a new location, I don’t think we’ll have mail access. Don’t worry about me though, I’m okay. I’ll write to you as soon as I get the chance._

_I love you, Louis Tomlinson, for as long as I shall live, and even after that._

_\- Harry xxx”_

When Louis finished reading the letter, he had tear streaks going straight done his cheeks. Harry loved him, Harry said he loved him! Louis felt his smile grow so much he thought his cheeks might break.

The other part of the letter is what concerned Louis. This was the first time Harry had admitted that he was scared. He can’t even imagine what Harry must be going through right now, and he wished more than anything that he could be with Harry and help him. He just misses him so much.

“ _Dear Harry,_

_Oh my god, I love you. I love you so much that I literally don’t know what to do with myself. And I don’t care if our relationship hasn’t been like every other, that’s what makes it more special. It’s what makes it ours. Our perfect love story._

_I’m not even sure if you will get this, since you mentioned you were leaving the normal camp. But I really hope it arrives before you go, because I want you to know how much I think about you. Every day and evert night I wonder how you are and if you’re okay._

_Don’t push away the fear, love. It’s okay to be scared. You’re going through an experience that most people can’t even dream off. But you also have to remember how brave you are. I’m not lying when I say any of this. You’re my hero, Harry. I can only hope that I can be as strong, brave, caring, and committed as you are. You’re like a whole new level of human, because I’ve never met anyone like you before, and you just amaze me in every way possible. So don’t be afraid of the fear, just make sure it doesn’t cover up the hope that I know you have inside of you._

_I can’t wait to see you, it’s going to be like one of those terrible movies that everyone hates but secretly loves and run into your arms and never let go. I literally won’t ever let you leave me again. We will be happy, I know it._

_Stay safe, please. I really want you to come home to me._

_I love you so much more, Harry Styles._

_\- Louis xxxxx”_

After Louis had gone to the post office, he went straight to Niall’s flat to tell him the lovely things Harry had told him. They had given each other a key to their homes a long time ago. It was meant to be for emergencies only, but now it’s used every time they go to each other’s homes.

“Niall, you’re never going to believe it!” Louis shouted happily, skipping into the lad’s apartment. Niall was seated on his couch in front of the TV with s beer in his hand, and appears to be watching some sort of football match.

“What’s up?” Niall responded, not even paying attention a Louis threw himself on the other side of the couch, smiling like a puppy. “He loves me!” Louis sang happily, raising his arms in the air as he said so.

“Wait, what?” Niall gasped, taking his eyes off the TV and turning to face the sunshine of a boy sitting next to him. “I know! I just got his letter today, and he told me he loves me and that he wants to be with me when he comes home!”

“No way! That’s awesome, Lou!” Niall cheered, feeling genuinely happy for his best mate. He’s seen how much Louis had been struggling with this relationship over the last while, and seeing the boy look so happy and radiant reminds him of the old Louis. It was like he was really seeing his best mate for the first time in a while.

“He was telling me about how he’s moving locations and how scared he was, which really doesn’t help the fact that I constantly worry about him.” Louis sighed, leaning back on the couch. “Have you talked to your mum about it? She’s the only one who’s met him, right?” Louis nodded. Harry would be coming back soon though, and he would properly introduce him to all his friends, which was really just Niall. But who cares.

“Well, call her! I got to finish this game anyways” Niall told him, nodding his head to the TV screen. “Okay, I’ll be back out in a few minutes” Louis grabbed his phone and got up from the couch, watching as Niall was sucked into the game once again. Louis retreated back to Niall’s bedroom dialing his mum and waiting for her to pick up.

“Louis! This is a welcomed surprise! How are you?” She greeted, her warming voice already helping Louis feel at peace.

“Hey mum, I’m okay, how is everyone there?” Louis asked, sitting down on the bed.

“Busy as usual, but otherwise good! Not that I don’t enjoy when you call, but is there any reason?” His mum questioned him.

“Is it that obvious?” He laughed, loving that his mum knew him so well.

“I raised you for 18 years, love, spit it out”

“Well,” Louis sighed, leaning back to lie down on the bed. “Do you remember Harry? The boy I introduced to you a few weeks ago?”

“Of course! He was such a gentlemen, how is he?”

“Good, I think. He’s still over in Vietnam, which is kinda scary for us both. I just got his letter that he wrote and I think it’s really starting to sink in to him how, intense, this all is. It’s like something was different in the way he wrote to me.”

“It’s probably just as you said, he’s scared! He’s never been in a situation like this. It’s a challenge emotionally, physically, and mentally.” His mum said softly.

“Yeah, I’m just worried for him. Oh! And guess what he told me!” Louis said excitedly, his cheeks starting to ache from how much he was smiling today.

“What?”

“He said he loved me!” Louis cheered, laughing at the sounds of his mum’s excited cries of joy.

“Baby! That’s wonderful! How long till he is due back? I’d love to have him over for a proper dinner”

“I’m not sure, hopefully soon. He’s moving camps, so he won’t be able to write for a bit, but when he does I’ll ask him and get back to you”

Louis spent almost another half an hour chatting to his mum over the phone before finally hanging up and heading back into the living area. He assumes the game was over, because Niall was clearing the few beer bottles he had on the table. It amazes him how Niall can stay sober after drinking so much. It must be the Irish in him.

“How was the game?” Louis asked as he sat back down on the couch, folding his knees underneath him. “Good, there coming to play here next week, wanna go with me?” Louis shrugged and nodded, he wasn’t as invested in the game as Niall was, but he did enjoy going to watch every now and then.

“So how’s your mum?” Niall asked as he wondered in and out of the kitchen, tidying things up. “She’s good, everyone’s doing well. We talked about Harry” He mentioned. “And how was that?”

“Good. She wants to have him over for dinner when he comes home” Louis laughed, struggling to believe that this was his life.

“Tell her I want to join, your mum is the best chief, I don’t know how you turned into such a shit one” Niall teased, smiling and laughing from the kitchen.

Louis just rolled his eyes fondly, letting Niall continue on with the conversation. “So when is the solider boy due back?”

Louis shrugged, seeing that Niall had reentered the living room. “Like I said to my mum, I’m not sure. He’s moving camps, so he won’t be able to write for a while, but I’ll ask him when I get the chance. I’m hoping it’s soon, though.”

“Let’s just hope he comes back safe” Niall called out, returning to the living room for the last time and sitting down. “He will” Louis assured him. “I know he will.”

 

_“One Friday night at a football game_

_The Lord's Prayer said and the Anthem sang_

_A man said, "Folks would you bow your heads_

_For a list of local Vietnam dead."_

_Crying all alone under the stands_

_Was a piccolo player in the marching band_

_And one name read but nobody really cared_

_But a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair”_

The night of the football game, Louis and Niall were seated only a few rows away from the field. “This is wicked!” Niall said loudly, so Louis could hear him over the crowd. The stadium was filled with cheering fans. Louis loved the atmosphere at football games, everyone was just so vibrant and filled with joy.

The first half of the game was tied between 3-3, Louis watched in excitement as the team’s kicked the ball down the field, everything feeling just so fasted paced. Louis loved it, his mind and attention where on the game for the whole time, and he loved how loud the crowd got when a team scored.

During half time, when usually a band will play or cheerleaders perform or something, so usually he’ll use this time to go to the bathroom or get a drink, but as he was about to get up, he saw all the players had lined up side by side on the center of the field, while an elderly man with a microphone came and stood in between the two teams.

“What’s this?” Louis asked Niall, seeing that the crowd still had a low buzz. “Not sure” Niall shrugged, either way they both stayed seated.

“Afternoon, everyone. If you don’t mind, we’d like to take a moment of your time to give respects to the fallen soldiers who lost their lives while fighting for this country. As you may know, we have army soldiers stationed in Vietnam currently, so we would appreciate it if you bowed your head for a moment of silence while we read the names of the fallen troops”

Louis felt his heart tighten as he listened to the man speak, and Niall could even hear the boy quietly gasp beside him.

Louis bowed his head and shut his eyes tightly, telling himself in his head that they wouldn’t say Harry’s name. Because Harry is okay. Harry is okay and safe and coming home to him. There’s no way that they would say Harry’s name.

As names started being read off, the stadium became absolutely silent. Although if Louis listened closely, he could hear soft cries coming from what sounds like under the bleachers. It made Louis’ hearts stop, because to him, these names didn’t mean anything. He didn’t know these people, but to someone, their family. And it would be the exact same if they read Harry’s name. Nobody here but him would know who he is, what he was like. It would just be another name.

What felt like hours, but was only a minute or so, with Louis bowing his head squeezing his eyes shut and holding his breath, it seemed like the names were finally coming to an end, and thankfully, Harry was not one of them. Louis let out the breath he was holding in, feeling like he could finally breathe again. His heart started fluttering back to a normal pace as the announcer read off the final name.

“And last but certainty not least, Harry Edward Styles.”

 

_“I cried_

_Never gonna hold the hand of another guy_

_Too young for him they told her_

_Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier_

_Our love will never end_

_Waitin' for the soldier to come back again_

_Never more to be alone when the letter said_

_A soldier's coming home”_

Ringing.

Louis couldn’t hear anything but ringing. It felt like the world was spinning around him and felt so dizzy, he might be sick.

His eyes felt blurry, like he couldn’t see or hear anything. He felt like he was having an out of body experience. Because this didn’t feel real, he felt like this was something he was watching on TV.

“Lou..” He heard Niall’s voice echoing. He assumes the game had started again, but the crowd was cheering and shouting again, but he couldn’t hear any of it.

“What” Louis stuttered, not knowing what else to say. He felt Niall gripping into his shoulder, because his best mate was watching the small boy sway from back and forth in his chair, like he might pass out. He was as pale as a ghost and his mouth hung open.

“Lou, the announcer..” Niall started, but he didn’t know how to finish. He just looked over Louis’ face. He didn’t look scared or shocked, he looked, numb. Like he was frozen in place. Like all the emotion in his body had just been sucked out of him, and all that was left was his hollow body.

“No.” Louis laughed coming to his senses. “No, this is some sort of joke. They must of gotten the name wrong” Louis laughed, almost scaring Niall. Louis knew that it couldn’t be Harry, because Harry was okay. He knew it, he could feel it.

But in the back of his head, a tiny part of him was screaming.

And that tiny part grew rapidly, taking over his body. He swear he felt his heart physically crack in his chest, sharp pieces falling through his body and piercing him all over, like broken glass against his skin.

“I have to go” Louis stammered, getting up from his chair and ignoring Niall’s voice as he practically sprinted down the stairs, more and more tears falling from his eyes the closer he got to the ground.

When he finally got to the exit, he threw himself out the door and tried gasping for air, because it felt like his lungs were becoming smaller and smaller. His cheeks were already soaked in tears as he felt arms wrap around his body, turning him around and pulling his face into the person’s chest, who he already knew was Niall.

Sobs racked from Louis’ body, and every part of him was shaking. No matter how hard Niall tried to hold him, the poor boy would not stop shaking.

Louis tried to catch his breath, to stop crying, but he just couldn’t. He knew he probably looked like an absolute nut, but he just didn’t care. Because every time he tried to stop, the thought came back into his mind. The thought that Harry is no longer here. He’s never going to be able to see him again, feel his arms around him, he’s never going to be able to kiss him again.

“I’m so sorry, Lou. I’m so sorry” Niall whispered, feeling his own tears start to fall. He never even met the guy, but he’s met Louis. He’s known Louis for almost his whole life. He’s seen him go through his first break up, first heartbreak, everything. But this, is something else. He’s never seen Louis so destroyed before.

Sobs continued to shake his body, because everything just seemed so dull. He didn’t feel like he had a reason to stop crying. He felt like he wasn’t ever going to stop crying. Everything about him felt different now, his hands didn’t feel the same, he head felt different, and everything was just different. It made him feel sick.

“Here, you need to sit, Lou. Let’s just sit right here, against the wall” Niall coxed, trying to stop Louis from falling to the ground too quickly. Louis’ knees felt weak and as soon as Niall let go of him, he fell to the ground, pulling his knees closer to his body and continuing to cry into his knees.

He had no idea he could cry this much, but he hardly had the time to think about it. Because the only thing in his head right now was Harry.

Harry’s gone.

You’ll never see him again.

There’s a good chance he died without knowing how much you loved him.

Louis doesn’t know is he passed out or just lost the ability to remember, but he was now seated on Niall’s living room couch, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and Niall scurrying to make some tea to help calm Louis down.

Louis had stopped crying somewhere along the ride from the stadium to Niall’s flat, but Niall didn’t know what scared him more, Louis sobbing hysterically, or Louis staying absolutely still and silent, starring at the wall like his life dependent on it.

“I got your tea, Lou” Niall spoke softly, placing the cup down on the table beside the couch. Louis still didn’t move, he just stared at the wall in front of him. “Do you want me to call your mum?” Niall asked, but Louis still kept his face straight.

He didn’t want anything, well, he wanted Harry. But he can’t have that anymore. So he doesn’t want anything anymore. Harry was it, but that was taken away from him, along with what felt like his entire body. He has no idea how he is going to get through this.

How is he supposed to get through this? The man he was in love with was taken away from him. He never got to say goodbye. The only time they will ever have together is those three weeks. God, he wishes he could go back to those three weeks. When he was happy and with Harry, he want’s Harry so bad. But he can’t cry anymore, he doesn’t have it in him. All that he can do is just sit here and stare at the wall, because he didn’t have meaning anymore. He doesn’t have any hope left.

Louis ended up spending the next week at Niall’s. He thought the first week after Harry left was hard, but it was no competition to the week he’d just went through. Louis was sure that of there was a hell, this was it. He spent the whole week throwing up food that he hasn’t been able to eat, crying, screaming, and then feeling numb. It was like a never ending cycle.

He eventually decided that he had to go back to his own home. He loved Niall and everything he was trying to do to help, but having the lad hover around him 24/7 was exhausting him more than the no sleeping was.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay here alone?” Niall asked as they pulled up in front of Louis’ flat. No, he wasn’t going to be okay. “I’ll be fine, thanks.”

He hasn’t called his mum or any of his family yet. He doesn’t know how to talk about it. He can’t talk about it. Because he’s still hoping that this is all a misunderstanding, and Harry is going to come home and everything will be okay. He’s not ready to accept this yet. He doesn’t know if he ever will be ready.

As Louis was walking up the stairs to his flat, he decided to stop and get his mail. He doesn’t know why, because honestly, all he wanted to do was go home and burry himself in his bed and hopefully die there. But he did. He checked his mail, and his torn up heart almost fell to the floor when he saw he had received a letter from an army reserve. It was a different address, and it wasn’t Harry’s handwriting, but he still’s want to believe it’s Harry.

He knows it can’t be Harry, Louis thinks as he walks into his flat. It’s probably just one of those letters they send you when the person, isn’t with us anymore.

Louis still can’t say that Harry is dead. He can’t do that yet.

But Louis wasn’t one of Harry’s emergency contacts, so who could it be from?

Louis threw himself onto his bed, breathing in, then out, and slowly opening the letter.

_“Louis,_

_I don’t know how to start this. I don’t know if I should sugar coat and express pity, because that’s what some people want at times like these, but if it was me, I would want to be told the truth. The real truth, so I’m gonna be straight with you. I hope that’s okay._

_I don’t know if you will have heard by the time this gets to you, I kind of hope you will have heard, because I don’t want some shitty letter to be the way you find out, but today a group of us went out to check the defensive lines and make sure everything was okay. Harry had mentioned that he heard something weird coming from a building around the corner, and usually a higher ranked officer would be the one to check it out, but Harry insisted that he was the one to do it. In the short time that I got to know him, he did prove to be quite stubborn sometimes._

_The rest of us in the group waited a few miles back while Harry went to go check out the building. When he went in, everything seemed fine. He radioed to us that he couldn’t find anything, and that it must if been nothing, but then it happened. The whole place was just, gone. It happened so quickly and so suddenly. We tried to save him Louis, we really, really did. We ran to the building and we did everything we could. Someone on the enemy lines must have planted a bomb in there that was triggered by movement. It happened so quickly that we don’t think he suffered, which is good, despite what happened I guess._

_It was truly the worst thing I have ever seen. Harry was the first person to talk to me when I joined. The day we left to Vietnam and we were on the plane, I was so close to having a panic attack and running off the plane, but Harry calmed me down. He sat right beside me and just talked. He told me about you._

_When we returned to the base camp that day, I was a wreck. Never in my life has something affected me so severely. I know you must have had a similar, if not worse, reaction to such horrible news. I immediately went into the bunks and I just lost it. I was sad, angry, hurt, everything. I felt so much emotion that I didn’t know what to do with it. Somehow, I ended up looking over to Harry’s bunk, which happened to be right across from mine, and I saw that picture of you two together._

_When he got those pictures, he had the biggest fucking smile on his face. Like a god damn child. He went around showing everyone, because he wanted to show you off. He wanted to show everyone his boy. He would call you that a lot, saying that ‘his boy was sending him letters’. That photo of the two of you, he had it right beside his bunk. Every morning when he woke up or every night I would catch him looking at it and just smiling. One of the other pictures you had sent him, a picture of yourself, he took that thing everywhere. He had it tucked in his pocket every time he left the camp. It was like he prized that picture more than anything else._

_After I saw that picture, I left the bunks and was approached by one of the leading men in our squads. He told me that the building Harry had gone into was a school for children, and if Harry hadn’t gone in there, it would have been those kids. Harry’s a hero, he saved those kids lives, and I think that Harry would be proud of the way he passed. And you should be too. I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be going through, but he died a hero. And that’s something I thought you should know._

_He loved you so fucking much, it was bloody annoying. He would always be talking about you. He told me about the first time you two met, and that pier. He told me about the first time you two kissed, the first movie you two saw together, even the time that you two were planning a fancy dinner but ending up getting take-out and eating in a park. He cherished those moments, he cherished you. I also thought that you might like to know that he got your last letter. He knew you loved him. Watching him read over that letter was like watching a child on Christmas. It meant everything to him. Up until the last moments of his life, he knew that you loved him._

_Our group is being sent back for a memorial service for Harry, and I figured you’d like to be there. We tried getting in contact with his family, but we weren’t able too. We’re flying in Monday night, around 6:30. I’d love to meet with you before the service._

_If you decide you don’t want to attend, I just want to thank you, on Harry’s_ _behalf. You were his distraction, which is something we all need here. You made him happy and smile on the worst of days, and I just want you to know that you meant everything to him._

_If I haven’t said it already, I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I would love to see you when I return._

_Sincerely,_

_Liam Payne.”_

Louis didn’t know what to think, how to feel. He remembers Harry talking about Liam in his letters, but hearing from him directly, just made his heart sink. The whole letter just made his heart sink. Harry knew Louis loved him, and he died to save lives of children. God, Liam was right, that was such a Harry way to die. He would be proud of himself. Louis was proud of him, under all his hurt and sadness, he was proud. Proud of his boy.

When he realized that it was Monday, he quickly showered to try and make himself look decent, but it didn’t work. You could practically see the heartbreak all over him. He ended up with a pair of sweats, a hoodie, and a beanie covering his head as he called a cab and made his way to the airport to meet Liam.

The last time he had been at this airport, was when he was saying goodbye to Harry. He tried really hard not to think about it. He didn’t dare to look at the spot he had said goodbye to Harry, the last place he held him, kissed him. He wouldn’t be able to handle that.

Once he had figured out what terminal the flight would be arriving at, which was thankfully on the other side of the one they had left at, he made his way down there. He saw families holding sings and waiting with smiles over their faces. That was supposed to be him.

He watched as a plane came into view, turning away so he didn’t have to watch the reuniting families. It would be too hard, because that should have been him. He should be excited, about to reunite with his love for the first time in months, but he wasn’t. He tried not to focus on that ether.

“Louis?”

The boy quickly turned around, met with a fairly tall lad wearing an army uniform. “Sorry, I’m Liam Payne, I sent you the letter”

So this was Liam, Louis thought. He shakily extended his hand, shaking Liam’s before quietly asking if they could go somewhere else. His heart hurt too much ,seeing how happy everyone around him was.

They ended up at a small restaurant not too far from the airport. Louis had asked if Liam wanted to go see anyone or go to his home, but he said no, that he had nowhere to be. So here they were.

“It’s weird, seeing you face to face. Harry would talk about you in his letters a lot” Louis said as they sat down, noticing the wondering stares they got from people around them. “He talked about you as well, but I got to see a few pictures. He was so proud to show you off” Liam smiled, making Louis show a small smile. He liked the idea of Harry going around showing everyone the picture of them together.

“So how are you? Really?” Liam asked, looking concerned as he scanned his eyes over Louis’ face. “I mean, I’m pretty horrible right now, to be honest with you” Louis said, laughing dryly. “Never thought I could feel like this, so passionless and just empty.”

“I get that,” Liam sighed, running his hand over his almost bald head. “I didn’t know him for as long, but when you’re spending almost every minute of the day with a person, you get to know them pretty well. And I didn’t think I could go back to that camp without him.”

Louis could see the pain in Liam’s eyes, wondering if that’s what his eyes looked like. “You mentioned a memorial service?” Louis asked, hoping to break the silence. “Yeah, we’re planning it for this weekend. We tried to contact his family, but we were unsuccessful. The only person we could manage to reach was someone by the name of Zayn Malik. Do you know him?”

Louis recognized the name. He thinks Harry mentioned it a few times.

“Not personally, no. Do you happen to have any way I could talk to him?” Louis asked, watching Liam turn around and pull out a piece of paper from his bag. “Yeah, this is his number, and this one is mine,” Liam told him, pointing to a second number on the page. “If you want, I can give you a call or something and let you know the address of the memorial.”

Louis and Liam ended up trading numbers and staying to talk for a while before finally parting ways. Liam promised to text him the plans for the memorial this weekend. Louis could recall in one of the first letters Harry sent, he said that he wanted to Louis and Liam to meet, and that he thought they would like each other.

When Louis got home, he took out the paper Liam had left him with and slowly dialed Zayn’s phone number. He hesitated pressing the call button, because he really didn’t know this person. Zayn might not even want to talk to Louis, but it was worth a try. He waited as the dial tone started to play, and almost jumped out of his seat when he heard a scratchy voice answer.

“Hello?”

“Um, hi, is this Zayn Malik?” Louis stuttered, feeling nerves boil in his chest.

“Yeah,” He heard someone sniffling from the other end. “Who’s this?”

“Well, my name’s Louis Tomlinson. I got you’re number from a lad named Liam Payne.” He said with a shaky voice. He felt nervous, because he might just hang up, but also because this was someone in Harry’s life. His best mate, if he can remember right.

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked, wanting to know why he was getting this call.

“I was a good friend of Harry’s. Um, we met a few weeks before he left.”

He was met with silence on the other line. He was scared that Zayn had hung up on him, or that he was angry at him for calling, but before he could hang up himself, he heard a voice on the other end.

“What did you say your name was?”

“Louis Tomlinson..” He responded hesitantly.

“Oh my god, you’re him” Zayn responded into the speaker, speaking slowly as if he was surprised.

“What?” Louis didn’t know what he meant, or how he knew who he was.

“Harry and I got into a bit of an argument before he left, but we’ve been mates forever, like brothers, almost. He would send me updates bout how he was doing. He told me about you” Zayn spoke fondly into the phone.

“He told you about me?”

“Yeah. He had it bad for you mate, the way he talked about you was like he was ready to write poems. I’m glad you called, I’ve been wanting to get in contact”

Louis felt himself blushing at Zayn’s words, and thinking about what Harry must of said. He really fucking misses him.

“Yeah, I’m glad I did too. I actually had a question for you. I met with Liam today and he told me about the memorial they have planned, and that they couldn’t get in contact with his family, do you think you would be able to reach them? They really should be there.”

“Did Harry ever talk about his family?” Zayn asked, sounding almost suspicious.

“Not really. He told me that he wasn’t very close with them, and that was it. I still think they should come though” Louis told him.

“Normally I wouldn’t be gossiping about someone else’s family issues, but I guess there isn’t really a second option here. Harry hasn’t talked to his family since he graduated high school. His mum didn’t have a good reaction to his coming out, so he left as soon as he got the chance.” Zayn told him, sounding more sad talking about it.

Hearing this made Louis’ chest hurt. He can’t imagine what that must have been like for Harry, but understanding now why he wouldn’t want to talk about it. It must have been so hard for Harry.

“That’s awful.” Louis breathed, feeling his chest ache painfully,

“He’s not close with his sister ether, but I think I could get her number form a friend. I could probably meet up with her. But, um..” Zayn said, not finishing his sentence.

“What?”

“I think I should go alone. Not that I wouldn’t want you to come, but I just think that hearing the news and meeting his boyfriend would just be too much for them.” Zayn explained.

Louis completely understood what he was saying. He doesn’t think he would be able to handle a meeting with his family right now either, they both just need more time.

“Of course, could you just pass along a message for me?” Louis asked, Zayn replying with that he would.

“Just tell them, that um, that I loved Harry, and I know he loved them, and that I really hope they choose to come and memorize his life with everyone who loved him.”

Zayn smiled on the other end of the line, fighting off tears that threatened to pour out. He’s had a pretty hard time dealing with his childhood best friend dying, but hearing Louis’ voice, knowing he wasn’t alone while feeling like this, it weirdly made him feel better.

“I’ll make sure to tell them. Will you be at the ceremony? I’d love to finally meet you” Zayn asked Louis, really wanting to meet the boy Harry talked so highly about.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world”

When the memorial finally came, Louis was terrified. He didn’t want to say goodbye to Harry. He had called his mum as soon as he woke up, crying over the phone and telling her how much pain he was in. His mum offered to take a trip to see him and stay with him, but he turned it down. She needed to be at home with the rest of her kids, and Louis knew that. He did ask Niall to come with him, for moral support.

When they arrived at the Cemetery that Harry was being buried in, he felt weak at the news. So many people had showed up. It was like a field of crying eyes and black clothing.

“I can’t do this, Niall. I can’t say goodbye to him yet, I’m not ready” Louis said to Niall as soon as they had gotten out of the car.

“I know it’s hard, Lou. But your strong, and you can do this. I know you can. And think of Harry, he would want you to be here, with all the people he loved. He would want you to be able to say goodbye” Niall told him softly, rubbing his arm in a comforting matter.

He knew Niall was right, he knew this is what Harry would want, but it felt like he couldn’t breath as he walked closer to the crowd, being quick to spot out Liam, who greeted him with a warm hug.

“I’m so glad you could come, Louis.” He smiled, then introducing himself to Niall. Liam lead them through the crowd of people, stopping at a table and grabbing the attention of a fairly attractive lad with black hair, matching his suit.

“Zayn, this is Louis Tomlinson. Louis, Zayn Malik”

Louis immediately felt himself being pulled into a bone crushing hug, but it was welcoming. He almost teared up, because it felt like he was hugging Harry.

“I’m so happy to meet you” Zayn said as he backed out of the hug, smiling sadly at Louis. “I’m really happy to meet you two” Louis told him, feeling like he was meeting a whole new part of Harry. “I talked to his sister, Gemma. She’s going to be here. Not sure about his mum, sadly”

When the service started, Niall, Liam, Zayn and Louis were sat at the front, along with the rest of the members in Harry’s group, and a very pretty girl who he learnt was Harry’s sister Gemma. They both hugged each other tightly, tearing up as they held each other.

Lots of people got up to speak, and they all had wonderful things to say about Harry. He liked Zayn’s speech the most. He talked about how Harry was as a boy, and how they used to ride their bikes to everywhere and talk about their dreams together. He told a story of how Zayn was getting teased for his religion, which Louis found out was Muslim, and Harry walked straight up to the bully’s and knocked him square in the chin. He was suspended for a week for causing a fight, but he said that he didn’t care, because no one was going to pick on Zayn as along as he was around.

When the last person went up, Liam leaned over and whispered to him, asking if he would like to say anything. “I have nothing planned, and I don’t want to seem disrespectful” Louis told him, looking out to the crowd of people that he didn’t know, but knew that they were import to Harry in some way.

“He loved you, and he would love anything you said” Liam assured him, so he did, he walked to the podium and looked out to the crowd of grieving loved ones.

“Hi, my name is Louis Tomlinson. I know a lot of you don’t know me, and sadly, I don’t know much of you either. But I did know Harry, not for as long as I would of liked. Time was a value that we didn’t have, but I did think that we would be able to make up for it.

I met Harry in a café that I used to work at. He came in and after five minutes of meeting him, he asked me if I would sit and talk with him. We ended up going to a pier that I would go to when I felt stressed or overwhelmed. I’ve tried going back there, but it’s not the same anymore. It never will be. Because that’s the place where I met the first person I’ve ever truly loved.

We fell in love in one of the worst ways, fast and all at once. We spent three weeks together before he was sent to Vietnam, and on that first day at the pier, he asked me if he could write to me, because he thought he would have no one to write too. But he had so many people, and looking at everyone here today, it doesn’t surprise me how many people Harry was able to touch in some way. He truly had a heart of gold, and I feel very lucky that I got to know him.

In the short time that we had together, I can honestly say that he changed my life. He showed me things about myself that I never knew, and he brought me out of my comfort zone and introduced me to the world around me. And I can truthfully say that I loved him with all my heart, and I will never meet someone like him again. He managed to make me fall in love with him in such a short amount of time, and I don’t think I’ll ever have that connection with anyone else again. He was one in a million, and standing here today, it just confirms to me how special Harry was.

He was a real life hero. He died a hero, and he saved me. He showed me a world where I didn’t have to question everything, and a world where I could fall in love with a traveling solider. And I think he’s here today, he’s with all of us. He can see how loved and admired he was, and how he left an impact on every one he ever met.

I guess if there’s a lesson here to be learnt, and surely Harry would want there to be one, I think it would be to never, ever take anything for granted. Don’t wait and hold yourself back. If you want something, go and get it. Because everything can change in the blink of an eye, and you may no longer have the opportunity to do so anymore.”

Louis turned around to where the closed casket containing Harry’s hidden body. He leaned down, placing a soft kiss to the casket as the placed a picture of the pier they went to together on top, which was covered in flowers and other memory’s that would be buried with him.

“Our love with last forever, my angel, I promise” He whispered, placing a final kiss to Harry’s casket, then whipping his fallen tears and standing up, looking to the crowd one last time before he stepped down. Everyone had tear soaked cheeks and soft, sad smiles on their faces, and Louis knew.

He knew Harry was here with him, with all of them. He would always be here, because he’s at home in Louis’ heart now, and that is where he will remain until the day they can be reunited again. Louis knew he would be with Harry again. He could feel it in his bones, but for right now, he was going to take what he can get, and that’s being with the people Harry loved most, learning new things about him and feeling more connected to him with every person he talked to that day.

Somewhere in his body, Louis knew that Harry loved him most, as selfish as it was. He could feel it.

And what he didn’t know, was that it was true.

Harry will always love Louis the most, and Louis will always love Harry the most. And one day, no matter how far away it might be, Louis knows they will be together. They will finally be happy.

Just like they promised.

 

_“I cried_

_Never gonna hold the hand of another guy_

_Too young for him they told her_

_Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier_

_Our love will never end_

_Waitin' for the soldier to come back again_

_Never more to be alone when the letter said_

_A soldier's coming home”_

 

* * *

 

That’s it! I really hope that even if just one person ends up reading this, it touched them in some way, and I hope I was able to do such a beautiful song justice. Please take the message from this story with you, never take anyone or anything for granted, because life can change in the blink of an eye. So never waste any time with the people you love. Hold them close, and make sure they know you love them, before it’s too late.

Please also take a moment out of your day every now and then to think about all the troops fighting for your country, fallen and living. They sacrifice everything for their country, and we tend to take that for granted sometimes.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful day :)


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